jeritan tulisan dan gurisan iri hati..
"hey guys, my blog's updated.." "weih korang, aku ada posting baru.." bla bla bla.. i'm sick and tired of it. i used to do that.. for what?!! sell myself out?? make myself look cheap?? i had enuff of dat.. i had enuff of letting ppl know what recently happened, yet alone my BORED life. yeah u heard dat rite.. my life is pure BOREDOM. i got nothing to write about coz i hardly hav anything interesting or at least something new to do once in a while. dont judge me and say dat im not thankful or grateful, I'M ALWAYS THANKFUL for what i have n for what i dont. I'M GRATEFUL enuff to still breathe the polluted air of deceit, denial, and deceptions.
U want a scoop out of my so-called 'bored life daily routines'? When I get online thru my messengers.. all I see is a bunch of 20-40 online friends with multiple status (busy, sms, on da phone, etc) but some are still available (or simply forgotten to put on the busy status until I messaged them). Here's a breaking record.. 5hours online, not a single person that I know is available even messaged me. But when I changed my status to something weird or emotionally related ("i cant stand this, i want to end my life", etc.).. then oh-so-surprisingly someone messaged, "are u okay?" Oh yeah, a VERY concerned friend indeed. Instead of replying, "no im juz fucked up with my life and i think i wanna commit suicide eventho dat would lead me straight into da gates of hell.." I juz simply said, "oh takde lah, that's juz a song lyric jer.." and guess what?? "oh, okay.." was the reply and then the idleness continues, not even a curious "are u sure?" or "u can share ur stories if u want, i can try to listen if it helps..". pity isn't it?
NOT.
coz im used to be treated dat way. "Do good to others, and others will do good to you." yeah right, if u're not the GENEROUS type dat's always being stepped on or being taken advantage of course. how many times hav i helped my frens when they desperately needed me, uncountable. how many times hav they helped me when i needed them (when i know they can help me), kira pakai jari jer lah beb. it's not like i'm asking money or try to fix my recently noisy PS2 machine, i juz wanted for someone to hear me out. it's not like i'm not independent.. but what kind of friends are they if they're only there for da good times but they're not in sight when da chips are down? 'friends' like these dat makes a person strong and raise the self-depedency level. of course, they are true friends around me that are always with me even before i try to reach them. *thanks guys, u've been a true companion, luv ya dudes always... now where's my freakin cds dat u fellas borrowed?*
PINJAM KAT MEMBER -> MEMBER PINJAM MEMBER -> (rolling sampai ntah kat saper) -> *poff!* hilang..
what other self hatred issues are there to tell? hmm.. let me see. LOVE is a splendid topic, huh? oh c'mon guys.. u know da drill. good guys will somehow always end up with bad girls, and good girls will somehow always end up with bad guys. there's no such thing as a good relationship, only good ppl. i've been thru heaven and hell, and trust me.. TRUST is like playing with da devil himself. if u fully rely on it, one day it will turn its back on u. my suggestion, keep sum 25% of cautiousness for yourselves. it's not about being unconfident, it's about safe play. hey, if u sacrifice 100% of ur life on a someone and later dat person totally diss u, what happens? so take my advice, keep a quarter piece of self-centeredness.. it helps when u are down, ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE ARE NO FRIENDS TO BE WITH U during that crumpled life of urs. "what doesnt kills u, makes u freakin stronger." and stick dat quote deep within ur skulls, it works as an antiserum for Love Depression.
And still some of my friends call me 'Dr. Love'...
*but i'm still single, so shut da F up.*
anyway, i dont wana talk bout studies, family issues, work life, and overdosed reality tv shows.. they're too many of them nowadays. back then there were Survivor, Fear Factor, American Idols, the Contender, but now da media industry is getting crowded with cheesy programmes like Wife Swap (wtf were u guys thinking?), the recently launched wrestling hulkamania Hulk Hogans's "Hogan Knows Best", and sorry to say this but our local star search "Mentor" with 2 hosts who speaks one in english and other in malay. oh yeah, it is juz me or do u guys realised dat most of our hosts who happened to speak during live broadcast or playbacks (especially 2 ppl).. they juz cant wait for the other person to finish their line and so they juz interrupt at the end of the sentence. i'm like.. relax guys, u're both on tv, u're both speaking, juz look how good the Crocodile Hunter guy and his partner collaborate during their animal descriptions. SLOW and STEADY. if u wanna jump dialogues from one to another, let him / her finish and then talk.. coz it's rude to interrupt a conversation @ presented dialogue.
JANGAN MENYAMPUK BILA ORG BERCAKAP.. (tak kira la if u're someone big or not, manners is inevitable).
what? still wanna know more? or are u already bleeding on ur keyboards?? dude.. get outta here man, dont u have anything else to do than to read my sick twisted serebrum contents?? damn, it's 6pm already.. gotta wash my car. and yeah before i forget.. IT IS UP TO YOU IF U WANT TO COMMENT from now on, i hate asking ppl to comment. accidental double posted comments are welcomed, but u know dat i will delete one of them.. so make sure u write something good and worth reading.
Despise me if u will..
Take my life if ur's cant..
Save me if it means to kill.
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